


It's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames

by binksybane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland Friendship, Clary Fray & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus Bane, Immortal Alec Lightwood, Immortality, Lucifer's Fall, M/M, Protective Alec Lightwood, Runes, Shadowhunter Alec Lightwood, Warlock Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 01:33:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13156356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/binksybane/pseuds/binksybane
Summary: ... but still Alec lay motionless. Tears began to fall as the reality of their situation hit her; Alec was dead. She blindly reached for Jace’s hand, as much to comfort himself as her, and she glanced at him.





	It's gonna be forever or it's gonna go down in flames

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Blank Space" by Taylor Swift

Alec felt like he was being pulled in very different and very opposing directions when suddenly he found himself surrounded by nothing - an emptiness that stretched on to forever… and he was in the center of it.

 

“Where am I?”

 

“You are in the … between.” What answered him was more than a single being; it sounded like a chorus of voices coming from every direction, and yet so in sync, it was as if only one person spoke.

 

“Am I… Am I _dead_?” He couldn't say how he knew, but he just did, that he was speaking with _angels._

 

Like a curtain being drawn open, the darkness parted, and Alec saw his end. His body was broken and bruised on the ground, while his sister lay across his chest sobbing, her hands stained red with his blood. And he remembered… he remembered the surprise attack as him and Izzy, along with Jace and Clary were out for a routine patrol; remembered the ferocity with which the demons came at them. He remembered seeing his Parabatai doubled over in pain, and then Clary getting struck unconscious by the demon she was battling. It hadn't even been a question - he'd rushed to defend her and as his blade had struck home into the demon’s heart, he'd felt the burn of nothing like he'd ever felt before in his chest - and he'd looked into eyes of pure evil in the face of Jonathan Morgenstern. And then there had been nothing.

 

“You are neither living nor dead. Your essence remains in your body for a time, as it does when someone leaves the mortal world, and your soul would have travelled on to the “ _other side”_ , but we took you on a little… _detour_ so we may speak with you.”

 

“I'm dead… I _died_.” Alec continued to stare at the scene that played before him. It felt so surreal; he didn't _feel_ dead but he couldn't deny what he saw.

 

“You need not remain as such, Shadowhunter.”

 

“What? What do you - You mean I can go _back_?” He gestured vaguely.

 

“You can return to your life, as you were, and more. But nothing is given freely. Are you prepared for the cost? What price are you willing to pay to return to your life, your siblings, your husband?”

 

Of course - He should have known that everything came at a cost.. “What do you want?”

 

“You have a choice, Shadowhunter. You can choose your end as it happened… or you can choose life. A life of being what and who you are - a Shadowhunter. But more.”

 

“What do you mean by _more_?”

 

“You will have the blood of Lucifer, the first fallen angel and demon; You will have unparalleled power on the battlefield, and with your Parabatai, the two of you will be a force to be reckoned with against this war we fight with demons.”

 

“You shall bear the mark of the devil for all your days - of which shall be forever and always. But you will also watch your parents, siblings and friends age and perish; their lives will be but a drop in the ocean of time that is your existence.”

 

“Why?”

 

There was a long silence that followed. Maybe he shouldn't have questioned angels?

 

“Because Lilith and Jonathan have an edge on the Shadowhunters and they cannot be defeated unless the playing field is made equal. Because you put yourself between danger and Clary without a thought to your own safety. Because you have managed to bring the Downworld and the Shadowworld together in a way no-one before you ever managed to do. It will be all this, and everything that you and your friends are, that will be the undoing of our enemies.”

 

“If you can do this for me… then why do any of us have to die?”

 

“We are not permitted to tamper with life as such; it is not just you who are bound by rules. But there are loopholes; ways we can… skirt the law. And the brother of your heart will need you by his side for what is coming his way.”

 

It was the last of their statements that caused him alarm. “Jace? Wait, what?”

 

“What will you choose Nephilim?”

 

“What about Jace-"

 

The voices grew louder and more demanding. “What will you choose Nephilim?”

 

He felt the annoyance bubbling up inside him. “Yes! I choose yes. Tell me what happens to -"

 

×

 

Clary regained consciousness slowly. She registered the pain radiating through her body and the aches making themselves known. She forced herself to open her eyes and fought off the wave of nausea that rolled through her as she tried to sit up. It was all coming back to her slowly - the patrol, the attack, the - _Jonathan_. He’d been there; she’d _felt_ him. She’d been fighting a demon and - and that’s all she remembered. Everything around her was silent; the sounds of battle now long gone, the night was quiet, except for the heart-wrenching sobs she heard. Turning her head to the source she saw Isabelle lying over Alec’s body, with Jace standing over them, his face ravaged by tears. Even as she tried to scramble towards them the image formed in her mind. She saw the lines twist and turn, form into a rune, and she knew.

 

“Get me a stele!” She rushed to Alec. “Jace, his shirt, I need access to his wound.” She gently nudged Izzy aside; so deep was her grief that Isabelle barely registered being moved let alone what Clary was attempting to do to her brother. She gasped in shock when Jace ripped Alec’s shirt - the wound was brutal; his skin was savaged and blackened by the burn of Jonathan’s weapon. She used the stele, and over the wound that had claimed his life, she drew the rune she saw. It burned into his skin but nothing happened. They all waited silently for something, _anything_ , to happen; even Izzy’s sobbing had subsided.

 

“It’s not… But…” Why hadn’t it _worked?_ Why would she be shown a rune only to have it fail when she tried to use it? “Maybe I drew it wrong, maybe-” She grabbed the stele and drew the rune again but still Alec lay motionless. Tears began to fall as the reality of their situation hit her; Alec was _dead._ She blindly reached for Jace’s hand, as much to comfort himself as her, and she glanced at him.

 

Jace was kneeling on the ground on the other side of Alec with one hand gripping Clary’s, and the other over his Parabatai’s heart. When he lifted his eyes to hers, they were glowing gold, and the rune she drew on Alec began to glimmer brighter and brighter until she had to shut her eyes against the intensity of it. She risked opening her eyes again when she felt the light begin to dim - she saw Jace’s eyes were back to normal, and when she looked down at Alec, she saw that the rune she drew was no longer there, but at the same time, the wound was also gone. In its place, etched into Alec’s skin like a scar, was a five-pointed star.

 

×

 

Alec felt that pulling sensation again but this time with it came the unspeakable pain he’d felt when Jonathan had killed him. A part of him welcomed the pain; if he could _feel_ then didn’t that mean he was also **_alive_**?

 

He knew the minute his soul was reunited with his body; he jerked once, hard, and his eyes flew open. It was like that dream you had where you were falling, and on impact, you woke with a start… except he _felt_ the force of his soul and his body become one again.

 

He could feel the unforgiving ground beneath him and the cool air around him. The pain of dying faded; it was like a phantom pain, the mark he now bore seemed to throb ever so lightly - a reminder of what had happened.

 

He felt the same - _didn't he_? But there was this… hum of something _else_ just beneath the surface; it felt very much like when he activated his runes before a battle - that spark of power and strength. It was a strange feeling, the constant presence of untapped potential; he wasn't sure he would ever get used to it.

 

And then everyone was shouting his name and tugging on him.

 

“Guys, _guys_! By the angel, you'd think I'd died or something.”

 

Everyone went still and silent. He looked from the dark eyes of his sister, to the emerald-coloured ones of Clary, to his Parabatai’s eyes.

 

“What, too soon?”

 

_“Damn you Alec!”_

 

_“We thought we'd lost you.”_

 

_“Don't you dare do that to us again!”_

 

All three of them were talking at once and their words tumbled over each other. Alec levered himself up, batted the hands that reached for him, that tried to help him.

 

“Guys, I'm fine, really.” He took in the dubious looks they aimed at him. “I _promise_.” He stood up and dusted himself off. “See? All good?”

 

Jace removed his jacket and threw it at Alec. “Well you can't be walking around with a ripped shirt and -" He focused on the pentagram on Alec’s chest. “and _that_ on show.”

 

Alec looked down. Huh, he'd almost forgotten about that; so it hadn't been a dream, a delusion. He pulled on the worn leather jacket, gathered up his weapons, and led them back to the institute in silence.

 

Alec knew they wanted to ask. He could almost _hear_ the questions buzzing around in their heads - but how was he supposed to give them answers when he barely had them himself? They followed him into his office, where he shut and locked the door, and told his family the story of how he had come back to life. There were many questions - ones they had for him and ones he had for Clary and for Jace.

 

Isabelle made him promise that he was alright, and would tell her if he was otherwise, and he made her promise not tell their parents… not yet. He waited until Izzy left before he addressed his brother and Clary.

 

“So wanna tell me what the angels meant?” He looked from Jace to Clary as they exchanged weary glances with each other. “Jace I _saw_ you - you were in pain.”

 

Clary stopped Jace when he started to speak. It was her story to tell after all. “It turns out you aren't the only one to come back from the dead. That night, when Valentine used the sword and the cup to summon the angel…”

 

×

 

Alec tried to process everything. He'd cleaned himself up of all the blood - his blood, _so much_ of his blood - and changed into his usual black jeans. He'd spent a good amount of time looking at himself in the mirror, looking for anything that was different, apart from the scar he now sported. There was absolutely no trace of the wound he'd sustained - if not for the very vivid memory of his time in the ‘between’ and the mark on his chest, he might have thought it had all been a strange dream.

 

Now he had to return home and break the news to his husband that he'd died, come back to life, and was now some part demon.

 

_“Hey honey, it was a slow night, saved Clary’s life - what's new? and slayed a few demons… oh and that small issue of dying and coming back from the dead.”_

 

And _then_ he needed to tell Magnus that he was now immortal. A very small part of him wondered if now that it was reality, if Magnus would really want to spend for ** _ever_** with him. It was silly, he knew it, but he couldn't help it. It had never been an issue because they'd known that one day Alec was going to die… which reminded him. They'd told him he would live forever but did that also mean he couldn't die?

 

He shook his head at himself. One step at a time, Lightwood. Top of the list? Go home to your husband. Secondly, write a report of tonight's events. Third, _live_.

 

×

 

Alec walked into the loft calling out for Magnus. He found the Warlock on the sofa, curled up under a throw with a book, and a glass of wine.

 

“Hey Mags.”

 

He stopped and just stared at Magnus. It felt so _good_ to be home; to be able to come home to his husband.

 

“What?” Magnus gave him a puzzled look. “Do I have something on my face?”

 

Alec went to him then, sat beside him, and took the man’s face in his hands. “Yeah. You had this look of-" He kissed Magnus once. “Absolutely love-" Another kiss. “on your beautiful face.”

 

Magnus smiled then, that shy smile reserved only for Alec. “Well hello to you too.” He kissed his husband, settled back, and snapped his fingers to summon a drink for Alec.

 

“Busy night?”

 

Alec sighed. “Yeah, kind of. I um… there's something I have to tell you.”

 

Alec’s tone caused a tiny seed of worry to bloom inside Magnus. “What is it, Alexander?”

 

Alec sighed again. Quick and sharp he thought, like pulling off a band aid.

 

He told Magnus of the attack - of Clary, of Jonathan, of his death. It was the second time that night telling the story but it was no less weird recounting how he died and came back. At the end of it he waited silently for Magnus to say something.

 

“You're telling me you're immortal?”

 

Alec nodded. “Yeah. Which kinda changes things, for us. I mean, forever for us is now a thing, and- well forever is a long time and if you don’t-"

 

Alec stopped when Magnus raised a hand, palm up, between them. “Alexander. Are you asking me, now that you're immortal and we have forever, if I'm having second thoughts about spending it with you?”

 

He gave Magnus a sheepish look. “Well I- It's just- yes! Okay? Yes.”

 

For a minute - which seemed like an eternity to Alec - Magnus just looked at him. “Alexander. It has been killing me knowing that one day I would have to say goodbye to you; that I would have to learn how to live without you - To not have your face be the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning.”

 

“Magnus, I-”

 

“And now you’re telling me that you won’t _have_ to leave me, that I won’t _have_ to live my life without you, and you thought that maybe I wouldn’t want to?”

 

He’d _known_ it was silly, hadn’t he? “I just need to hear you say it.”

 

“Always Alexander, and forever.”

 

_~ fin_ _~_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it?  
> Hit me up on Twitter: @binksybane


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